@Jayson sounds like to me you are describing the different throttle positions for gear 1, not automatic. the little boxes that light up along the side of the shift gate.
now i have gone back and tried this again today, but now i get nothing but full throttle again. maybe my game glitched a bit idk, but i knew i had not seen this before, which would make sense if my game did glitch a bit.
edit: btw i have since noticed you play on console, so when did consoles get Key Board controls?